Ricki Lake: Teen Mom Failure

Sasquatch // October 30 // 0 Comments

Sasquatch is Anti-Social . . . But Sharing is Caring

Ricki Lake's Piglets — Ricki Lake’s Piglets

Ricki Lake is your typical teenage mom from the 1990’s.

She first hid her pregnancy from me until literally the day before she gave birth. Jennie was out with me and said, uh, that little lady is pregnant. Sure enough, the next day she popped, giving birth to four baby piglets.

She was actually a decent mother for the first two weeks. However, she decided to move her nest from where she gave birth to the exact opposite side of the 1 acre paddock. The problem is that she forgot to tell two of her piglets that they were moving.

I discovered two of her piglets alone in her nest while she had another piglet with her in her new nest. It was a cold night, so Porter and I sprung into action to save the two piglets. We kidnapped them and took them to Ricki Lake.

Luckily, it appears that Ricki Lake did not purposefully abandon her piglets. Turns out she is just an irresponsible teenage pig mom.

About Sasquatch

Sasquatch (aka Kevin M. Anderson) is a Swineherd Philosopher Theologian, Esq. He is the head swineherd raising pigs and engaging in shenanigans at Sasquatch Wallows, a director of his local Classical Conversations Challenge B program, a commissioned Colson Fellow, and a criminal defense lawyer at Prodigal Law.